You guys, I swear I have some of the greatest readers in the whole wide world.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting over the weekend. Truthfully I did become distracted now and then, after a pair of phenomenal heels caught my attention over on Luisa Via Roma and then for some reason I found myself on Shopbop which then lead to Polyvore shenanigans. That is something I plan to upload later in the week. For now I wanted to share more personal thoughts, so I hope you don't mind another word post and possible rant. There was a call for me to get a little more personal on here. Ask and ye shall receive. So I'm going to endeavour to do so from now on.

But first, I wanted to extend the most sincerest and warmest of gratitudes towards those who left genuine feedback on my last post (refresh your memory here). I truly appreciated the flood of support and wisdom imparted onto me. I've been mulling over ideas, both old and new. Weighing the pro's and con's of such a dramatic changes whilst contemplating certain points you made. I was really surprised to note how beloved the name "Daring Coco" actually was. You all seem to honestly adore it. One reader even revealing that it was the name itself which drew them to the blog. I was dumbfounded by that one because I had no idea just how much of an impression it was actually making. I've never really viewed it as catchy or rhythmic. Simplistic, yes but more of an inside joke. It all has officially made these decisions ten million times more arduous. And now I can't help but feel even more connected to this blog. This is a decision not to be made overnight, but over time. Take heed people, for it will be one that I'll no doubt keep pestering you about too.

Upon reflection and looking back over the last year or so, I feel like I am constantly seeking validation and reassurance from my readers. I swear I'm not like this in real life. I think the pressure of "blogger perfection" and constantly comparing myself to the highlight reel of others has gotten the better of me. God, it is the worst habit to procure and shake. One I'm unsure how it was originally acquired but nonetheless a fixation that needs immediate annihilation.

Comparison is the thief of joy after all.

And ain't that the damn truth! Living vicariously through the lives of others can be liberating. But over prolonged periods of time you begin to lose your sense of identity and you find yourself morphed as a spectator rather than the leading lady. Worst still, you second guess everything you do. I wanted to share some thoughts and feelings with you because I know I am not the only one feeling this way. I've noted little hints here and there from fellow bloggers who've expressed the same nuisances as I do. Blogging has become so fast paced and needy. We're constantly seeking affirmation through our audience. Painstakingly working towards growing our following, some go by it the right way while others harass. The latter is an absurd route because numbers are completely useless and insignificant if no one is truly engaged. I don't know why they bother.

There are a few things that are really starting to annoy me about this industry. One being a new monster of consumerism we seem to be creating. Something I feel like we've created by promoting items that aren't quite right and constantly seeking the new "it" piece with desperate fervour while unknowingly creating cliques of "you can't sit with us". I can't tell you how appalled and repelled I've become from reading the war stories of other bloggers' personal experiences. Tales of some being shunned for their "pitiful" Instagram following. Or mocked for the "cheap" threads they wore to some event. I'm fortunate to have never experienced something like that first hand and honestly, I have no idea how I'd even deal with something as nasty as that. This whole "sorry, we're cool"persona is like high school; frivolous and fickle. I'm sorry, I thought we all grew out of that "mean girls" phase. I certainly did but it looks like others never got that memo. What ever happened to love and light? Kindness? I understand this is FASHUN DARLING and these sorts of issues are nothing new. It's a cut-throat industry; perfection, image and vanity reigns. But style itself is not a digital print trend or monogramed handbag nor is it French labels and excessive price tags. Style is something from within. Try as you might, it can't be brought. Same goes for a blog. You can adorn yourself in brands, take copy cat photographs, buy followers or persistently ask others to "follow me, I'll follow you" but you won't garner real success. Nor will you make awesome connections and friends from all over the world.

I'm finding that I am becoming so overwhelmed at times, dedicating so much precious time mulling over my own numbers. Fretting over why they won't grow as fast as others. Perplexed over what I may be doing wrong. Setting myself for a fall with my impractical goals. Fixated on affiliate links and finding ways to squeeze them in because a girl has got to eat. But why? Why do I/we run ourselves rampant with these things? 10k by the end of the year? Maybe achievable and maybe it's not.

I also feel like as a community we need to accept and come together as a whole. Blogging is not widely understood or accepted in the "real world". No one actually takes us seriously except us. It's bloggers who visit blogs and it's bloggers who click on those affiliate links. Sure family and friends may frequent your site but that is it. And though society may see us as a minority or call blogging a hobby (I actually DESPISE when people call it that) we are an influential bunch. Remember the kerfuffle with that Lord & Taylor dress? The one that sold out in mere minutes? For now we're all in uncharted waters, pioneering a new and exciting industry. We have to unite, support and embrace one another fully. Whether you're a trust-fund baby or prefer clothing from thrift shops, blogging is blogging and only bloggers understand how time consuming but gratifying the entire process is. Because being internet famous extends only to the internet kids. That "real world" hasn't quite caught up to our brilliance and they certainly don't care how many Instagram followers you have. Some of them will even ridicule you for it. They don't get it but we do; remember that.

Peace,

-Sxx
image via: hawaiian coconut
You guys, I swear I have some of the greatest readers in the whole wide world.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting over the weekend. Truthfully I did become distracted now and then, after a pair of phenomenal heels caught my attention over on Luisa Via Roma and then for some reason I found myself on Shopbop which then lead to Polyvore shenanigans. That is something I plan to upload later in the week. For now I wanted to share more personal thoughts, so I hope you don't mind another word post and possible rant. There was a call for me to get a little more personal on here. Ask and ye shall receive. So I'm going to endeavour to do so from now on.

But first, I wanted to extend the most sincerest and warmest of gratitudes towards those who left genuine feedback on my last post (refresh your memory here). I truly appreciated the flood of support and wisdom imparted onto me. I've been mulling over ideas, both old and new. Weighing the pro's and con's of such a dramatic changes whilst contemplating certain points you made. I was really surprised to note how beloved the name "Daring Coco" actually was. You all seem to honestly adore it. One reader even revealing that it was the name itself which drew them to the blog. I was dumbfounded by that one because I had no idea just how much of an impression it was actually making. I've never really viewed it as catchy or rhythmic. Simplistic, yes but more of an inside joke. It all has officially made these decisions ten million times more arduous. And now I can't help but feel even more connected to this blog. This is a decision not to be made overnight, but over time. Take heed people, for it will be one that I'll no doubt keep pestering you about too.

Upon reflection and looking back over the last year or so, I feel like I am constantly seeking validation and reassurance from my readers. I swear I'm not like this in real life. I think the pressure of "blogger perfection" and constantly comparing myself to the highlight reel of others has gotten the better of me. God, it is the worst habit to procure and shake. One I'm unsure how it was originally acquired but nonetheless a fixation that needs immediate annihilation.

Comparison is the thief of joy after all.

And ain't that the damn truth! Living vicariously through the lives of others can be liberating. But over prolonged periods of time you begin to lose your sense of identity and you find yourself morphed as a spectator rather than the leading lady. Worst still, you second guess everything you do. I wanted to share some thoughts and feelings with you because I know I am not the only one feeling this way. I've noted little hints here and there from fellow bloggers who've expressed the same nuisances as I do. Blogging has become so fast paced and needy. We're constantly seeking affirmation through our audience. Painstakingly working towards growing our following, some go by it the right way while others harass. The latter is an absurd route because numbers are completely useless and insignificant if no one is truly engaged. I don't know why they bother.

There are a few things that are really starting to annoy me about this industry. One being a new monster of consumerism we seem to be creating. Something I feel like we've created by promoting items that aren't quite right and constantly seeking the new "it" piece with desperate fervour while unknowingly creating cliques of "you can't sit with us". I can't tell you how appalled and repelled I've become from reading the war stories of other bloggers' personal experiences. Tales of some being shunned for their "pitiful" Instagram following. Or mocked for the "cheap" threads they wore to some event. I'm fortunate to have never experienced something like that first hand and honestly, I have no idea how I'd even deal with something as nasty as that. This whole "sorry, we're cool"persona is like high school; frivolous and fickle. I'm sorry, I thought we all grew out of that "mean girls" phase. I certainly did but it looks like others never got that memo. What ever happened to love and light? Kindness? I understand this is FASHUN DARLING and these sorts of issues are nothing new. It's a cut-throat industry; perfection, image and vanity reigns. But style itself is not a digital print trend or monogramed handbag nor is it French labels and excessive price tags. Style is something from within. Try as you might, it can't be brought. Same goes for a blog. You can adorn yourself in brands, take copy cat photographs, buy followers or persistently ask others to "follow me, I'll follow you" but you won't garner real success. Nor will you make awesome connections and friends from all over the world.

I'm finding that I am becoming so overwhelmed at times, dedicating so much precious time mulling over my own numbers. Fretting over why they won't grow as fast as others. Perplexed over what I may be doing wrong. Setting myself for a fall with my impractical goals. Fixated on affiliate links and finding ways to squeeze them in because a girl has got to eat. But why? Why do I/we run ourselves rampant with these things? 10k by the end of the year? Maybe achievable and maybe it's not.

I also feel like as a community we need to accept and come together as a whole. Blogging is not widely understood or accepted in the "real world". No one actually takes us seriously except us. It's bloggers who visit blogs and it's bloggers who click on those affiliate links. Sure family and friends may frequent your site but that is it. And though society may see us as a minority or call blogging a hobby (I actually DESPISE when people call it that) we are an influential bunch. Remember the kerfuffle with that Lord & Taylor dress? The one that sold out in mere minutes? For now we're all in uncharted waters, pioneering a new and exciting industry. We have to unite, support and embrace one another fully. Whether you're a trust-fund baby or prefer clothing from thrift shops, blogging is blogging and only bloggers understand how time consuming but gratifying the entire process is. Because being internet famous extends only to the internet kids. That "real world" hasn't quite caught up to our brilliance and they certainly don't care how many Instagram followers you have. Some of them will even ridicule you for it. They don't get it but we do; remember that.

Peace,

-Sxx
image via: hawaiian coconut

72 comments

  1. Great post! I do have to disagree with you on one thing though: I think that there are plenty of people who read blogs who do not write a blog themselves, not just our friends and family! But otherwise, I am totally feeling this post. I literally cannot wrap my head around why people buy "followers" or harass other bloggers with that whole "follow for follow" nonsense. WHY?! I do keep finding myself getting hung up on numbers also though. I lost 2 followers today and now I'm so bummed out. Why am I like this?

    COOCOO FOR COCO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You could be right about that Colleen. I do hope more and more non-bloggers are scoping us out. I may have been a little negative nelly in that part myself. I also feel your pain with the loss of followers. I get so down when they leave me on Instagram. That has become a real problem lately. Growing that and keeping them (though most who follow you expect you to follow right back). The whole process has become disheartening and one of the main reasons why I've strayed from there myself. I'm not persistently checking it every minute anymore. I'm kinda over it all. Too much negativity for my liking right now xx

      Delete
  2. Great post Sonia, and like Colleen above agree on most of your thoughts!
    I blog for the love and anything that comes my way is a bonus!
    I hate the "mean girls" mentally, but think the community is so important and that's all you can ask for!

    I've followed you now for a long time and love what you bring to the blog world!
    x Kirsty

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  3. Great post Sonia! It's always interesting to read you! xx
    Margo Raffaelli

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well said Sonia, I so agree with what you said at the end, its also my personal thought about blogging (which I dont think is a simple hobby, at least for me). But Im seriously shaken by what those girls do, lol I dont think what they would think of me since I always wear cheap clothes and promote deals!:P You are right, at the end blogging is an internet community, I see in the world not everyone takes it seriously especially if they do a serious job..what do you do with k followers? Less taxes to pay? lol, but is something I really heard!:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blogging isn't a hobby for most of us. I get really annoyed when people refer to it as this. Blogging is super time consuming. It's 24/7, not a 9-5 job. I have no idea who or where they all are. Honestly most of those stories I've read from other Italian bloggers so maybe it's become a big enough problem for others to start speaking out. It really sickens me though. But you can't expect everyone to be on your wave-lengths now can you xx

      Delete
  5. This is great - I totally feel you I also find myself comparing my blog to others more successful but then it gets me thinking the reason I started my blog in the first place is to share my thought and not to impress anyone else.

    CANDICE | BEAUTY CANDY LOVES

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is it. The reason for beginning should be what matters most. Not numbers. xx

      Delete
  6. Hi doll very well communicated, I agree with few of your feelings and opinions. There is mean girls out there I had read other blogger post or IG pictures comment and I was like why will someone write that. I do not have a heart to give a negative opinion to no one since god know I do not have an insecure bone in my body and I see beauty beyond nor do I look if is a brand I look how the person flows in the image with a smile and feeling proud how they put an outfit they feel is the right one. I never focus in number from day one I did my blog with no expectation in getting back and I been bless in having followers and friends that still come to my blog and also strangers who do not write blog. I believe if you enjoy what you doing you will not focus on the little stuff. I agree they are some who only cares about number and trying to be better than other bloggers, not realizing they should support other bloggers those are the one who do not get it. Great post doll.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't get haters. They'll jab you from the security of a screen but not utter a single word if you walked past them on the street. Cowards really. What ever happened to "if you haven't got anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all"? xx

      Delete
  7. I love your insights.
    Followers are just numbers.
    What is important is the content of what you are posting or wrtiting
    And of course what makes you happy
    XO

    Check my new post.
    The Bandwagon Chic | Instagram | Bloglovin

    ReplyDelete
  8. You certainly did get a lot of good advice to mull over on your last post. There's no rush though - none at all! Take your time and do what feels right for you, without trying to measure up to some 'goal' you see being achieved by others. I know that it's hard to break that comparison cycle....but take a minute, think of the dirty dishes in your sink (I've had a pan 'soaking' in there for about 10 hours now, ha! I'll get to it...maybe....). Everyone has something like that. You might not have dishes, you might have something else, something less than perfect. You just choose not to share that with the world through your blog. So next time you find yourself doing the comparison thing, think about the dirty dishes (or whatever else) that person has. Sure they might have 100 more followers, but they spent time building followers instead of taking care of their gorgeous pup (shout out to Coco!) or getting fresh air that day...! :)
    I used to get comments all the time about 'wow how can you blog with a baby' and all that. I shared the mess my dining room table was in while I blogged and that seemed to quiet them down, ha! Everyone lets something slide to do the blog stuff.

    And you nailed it right at the end - although I'll avoid using the word hobby as you've said you hate it! - blogs are just blogs. They aren't real life. And while they can lead to great friendships (I count you as a bloggy friend!) they are not the most important thing in the world.



    Away From The Blue

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha Mica, I really, really did. And I was completely grateful for everyone's feedback. I'll continue mulling it all over and in the meantime I'l also do best to remember those dirty dishes. Everyone's "highlight reel" is photoshopped to perfection. We all have dirty pots soaking in the sink. I just need to remember this. Thanks for the wisdom and I too count you as a blogger friend! xx

      Delete
  9. Truth! That is the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
    I completely identify with everything you said! Seriously why can't blogging and therefore style be simple as someone's expression of her mood and beauty? Why does it have to be defined by convention or certain "it" bags? That being said, I am most definitely a lover of pretty things. But I also hoped that when I became my current blog title that I would appreciate all kinds of luxuries (I'm doing it so far).
    I also was obsessed with the numbers especially since my readership was a lot bigger previously. But I'm just going to write about what I love, do a little redesign and know the rest will follow.
    I also hope you stay with your title. Inside joke or not, it's fun and a little edgy like you!

    xoxo,
    little luxury list formerly Chic 'n Cheap Living

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha I too have a firm appreciation for fine sartorial things. I have a strong inkling that you will meet your new brief and perhaps even open the eyes of your readers to other luxuries that most fail to note. Thank you for reminding that when I originally set out to blog, numbers never played a pivotal role. Though they are somewhat important it's best to remember to do and write about what you love and the rest will certainly follow. xx

      Delete
  10. I think having a blog is a different for everybody. I agree about the 'hobby' word - I feel like you can't call your thoughts that. After all, that's what blog mostly is - our thoughts.

    And the haters - well, they just gonna hate ;) Life is to short to pay attention to people who can say stuff like that only through the screen.

    Your writing is extremely inspiring and made me think a bit more! Thank you for that!

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  11. Hi Sonia,

    Actually I have to agree with one of your readers, your blog name is actually unique enough to catch my attention to come over and check it out in the very first place. Of course, I immediately fell in love with your words, the way you write and how you articulate a certain point. (Of course, those beautiful collages are a bonus for me too, as beautiful visuals always catch my attention *_^)

    I love the fact that you speak your mind and you are not afraid to do so, if ever it may deem "inappropriate" by others. I do agree with lots of what you have said here. Well, I feel blogging is a SERIOUS hobby, don't be mistaken. I take this "hobby" very seriously, am sure most of us are. Like you said, it's a 24/7 thingy and takes up a great deal of time and effort. Yes, we are not only striving to reach that "blogger perfection" level, but I guess this is true in our real life as well. But I guess, one can't reach perfection but it is good to strive for the best that we can do or achieve in life. That's what pushes us to be better (not to compare with others), but to overdo our own self, so that we keep improving. At least, that's what I do, it's an expectation that I put onto myself as this is, after all, my own blog.

    haha I hear you. These days, internet famous may be a huge deal to many of the bloggers out there, but if we really look closer, it's not really a HUGE deal either for all this can be an illusion after all. I guess a big contributing part, it has to do with brands which put in a great deal of emphasis on numbers, no? It's like I applied for net-a-porte affiliate program but obvious was turned down due to the fact that my blog has not enough traffic or audience. After a while, I just don't let that get to me anymore. Of course, I still constantly trying to figure out how to create more awareness and traffic for my blog, but I have decided this year to "go with the flow". If it's meant to be, it will happen.

    As for now, I can only concentrate on creating contents that I feel is of quality and as long as it makes me happy, I don't see why not. Coming together as a blogger community should be the way to go, but not everyone sees it that way, sadly.

    Such a great post! Insightful and thanks for speaking up!

    Let's keep blogging and share the love and spread the happiness around, like you said, Sonia, only another fellow blogger can truly understand what we are talking about here, right?

    Big hugs,
    Jeann
    http://luminnej.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww thanks Jeann. I think what I was trying to say in regards to the "hobby" title was how when some people label it as this, they do so thinking it's a frivolous pastime. Something silly and narcissistic. No substance nor value. As if the operation of one is as easy as uploading an image to Facebook. Which it is anything but. Maybe it's just me but I keep encountering so many negative people who view it this way. Re the internet fame, it really is isn't it. It's a big deal to those of us in this world but for society not so much. It's amazing how much numbers factor into everything these days. A friend of mine referred me to a competition for travel to a Croatian island and of course a mandatory point of entry was a minimum of xxxxxx followers. It's starting to bug me a lot. I get that sponsorships are putting their money and resources into you so they want an audience. At the same time what's to say that someone with an absurd amount of followers actually has a proper and engaged following? These days accounts like that are used by others to promote themselves anyway. Have you noticed that? Hahaha! I have. That "follow for follow" virus is spreading to other areas. I've made a concious effort to do what I love now and allow the Universe to do the rest. Like you said, the other stuff will follow. xx

      Delete
  12. I know just how you feel. I now just give myself 1 hour to work on my blog/ comments and that's it. Otherwise it takes too much time and effort.
    Melanie @ meandmr.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. So true! This post is pretty cool, love the words.
    "It's not about brand, it's about style"!

    Kiss,
    Um Blog Fashion


    ReplyDelete
  14. This was such an amazing reading, very inspiring! I started blogging last october just for fun and my blog has been growing really fast, I truly appreciate the support and I'm so glad my followers enjoy my posts. The key is definitely be yourself, always, you don't have to impress anyone but yourself! Numbers are just numbers, what's really important is the content of your blog posts. I put my heart and soul to every single post and I'm really proud of myself!

    http://alemint.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for you Maria. These days I think readers can pick the authentic ones from the fake. xx

      Delete
  15. Totally agree with you! I really love blogging but then sometimes I feel like the bloggin world is so highschool! There's the popular kids people ragging on others and it's hard not to compare yourself with the cool kids! Like why do people like them better than me?! Although I have met some AMAZING people through blogging and that's what really keeps me going! Even though it is soooo overwhelming at times!

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeat Soles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It can be a double-edged sword. I think the key is to think of the positives like the friends you make here. Screw the "cool" kids, the ones who rag on others will get their comeuppances. xx

      Delete
  16. Let's get the most important thing out of the way first. I love, like absolutely love reading your post, it feels like I'm listening to an old friend pouring out her heart and I don't see you as seeking reassurances from your readers, I see it as you caring about your readers and want to bring the best to the table for both yourself and your readers. It's not a sign insecurity, it's a sign that you care. You're worried because you care if you're doing right for your readers. :-)

    And amen to the last paragraph! Very inspiring and you actually motivated me to do better myself! And about followers....sigh, what can I say? I think we've all been there and look at me, I have little, very little followers and there are moments that I wonder why do I even bother with blogging but I reminded myself that I actually love typing all the silly thoughts, words, phrases and putting it out there. It's therapeutic for me and who knows, maybe I'll drag someone onto the crazy train with me. LOL!

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww thanks Shirleen. I guess this blog has taken a turn into therapy zone! It did feel so good getting that all off my chest. Also thank you for pointing out to me that I do care about my readers. I want to write and create things that I am passionate about but I also want my readers to enjoy the content too. So many readers have reminded me to remember why it was that I started doing this in the first place and to focus on that. Screw numbers Shireen. Do what you love. xx

      Delete
  17. I really miss the sense of community among bloggers that I felt when I first started blogging, so I can totally understand your sense of frustration. Now it's all about working with brands and getting free stuff and getting commissions (and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy that aspect of it from time to time). But really do miss blogs just purely being creative outlets. I try to remind myself that's the original purpose of mine whenever I get frustrated with it. Great that you're being introspective about it though!

    District of Chic

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It has dramatically changed hasn't it. When I started there was a real sense of community. I was even engaged in conversation with many a "big" blogger back then too. I remember when they used to come past blogs, my own included and leave comments. These days everyone is so caught up with sponsorships that that camaraderie we used to have is lost. I enjoy the perks too E, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. I just wish I'd be less fixated on it sometimes. xx

      Delete
  18. what an amazing self reflecting post. I know the struggle to well, especially when you are trying not only to blog but to be an independent designer. It is good to compare some of other people's work but not obsess over what they have versus why don't i have it kinda feeling. Keep doing your thing and i am sure things will unfold (thats at least what I tell myself) xox
    MA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Melissa. It's a habit I need to break. Everyone so far has been reminding me to do what I love and the rest will follow. Solid advice. xx

      Delete
  19. Woow, great post!

    Want to keep in touch? Follow for follow? Let me know.

    Laura Macij
    http://www.lauramacij.com/2015/04/old-town-vibes.html#more

    ReplyDelete
  20. I share your thoughts on much of what you are saying, and you are so spot on with it. It is a struggle and some people not in the blogging world think it's about getting attention, when really I truly believe we love connecting with others. I know I do, and love sharing my ideas as well. I do it for the creativity of it all, the writing, the photograpy, the art. I recognize that at times I to get caught up in all the following craze that it has become. It is pretty crazy, but in the end I blog because I love it! Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts and making me feel like I'm not alone in the way I feel sometimes.

    Much Love,
    Tania
    http://inspiremyfancy.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww Tania. You're definitely not alone. I think we all feel that pressure and need reminding of why we started in the first place xx

      Delete
  21. I hate numbers. I have always done blogging with passion and because I love it.


    www.searchingforlbd.com

    www.searchingforlbd.com

    ReplyDelete
  22. How many wise words Sonia, I totally agree with everything you wrote and I strongly believe that it is wrong to go to war, because only the union is strength!!!!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

    ReplyDelete
  23. See that's why I love your blog so much (and you don't have to change it) Sonia. You know what you're wrinting and it's always interesting. Mean girls will never disappear and it's so easy to write all that nasty stuff on the internet. It's much harder to tell peolple to their faces. I don't think it's the bloggers that click on the affiliate links (they rather cut their fingers off then to support another blogger lol). Well at least that's my experience. Boy I don't remember that dress but it's fugly. I admire Wendy (wendy's lookbook). She can make an ugly dress look great hahha!
    Omg I'm having the same problems with the Converse (Chucks) sneakers. I loved them to death but then they changed them and since then I can't wear them without getting horrible blisters. Wish you a wonderful Thursday Sonia!

    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww thank you Mira! A lot of readers have disagreed with me on that point. I think I've just met too many negative people who think blogging is frivolous and don't take us seriously enough that it has clouded my judgement. I need to surround myself with better people. And yeah that dress is not something I'd wear but it's amazing how powerful their influence is isn't it. It's almost like a celebrity endorsement or something. BTW re your Converse! Praise Jesus Mira because I thought I was the only one! My new pair are so damn temperamental. I'll have good days were I can wear them for a while and others were from the minute I put them on my feet the back digs into my skin. Urgh. So annoying. xx

      Delete
  24. What an honest post, Sonia. Thank you for being so open with us when it comes to these things. As bloggers, we are plagued by that dreaded "Am I as good as the others?", and I think it's totally normal. Is it healthy? Perhaps not, but as long as we keep in mind that we do this because we love it, then hopefully, the feeling passes quickly.
    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  25. Thank for sharing your honest thoughts Sonia. I'm sure it must be liberating to get all this off your chest. I found myself nodding along a few times as I was reading. I think we all have different reasons for blogging and we have different measures for success but having a supportive community to be able to fall back on can make a difference. It makes me crazy when people refer to blogging as a mere hobby but then I just think, they're the ones who don't get it.

    Rowena @ rolala loves

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really was! And yeah, they don't get it. xx

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  26. I feel you on this.

    Blogging has taken on such a business-like atmosphere. There is such a need to be perfect, and to craft your blog in a way that will be marketable, or that's similar to the 'big bloggers.' And, oh gosh, if I have to hear how important it is for a blogger to have a personal-brand I'm going to scream. Everything has be aesthetically pleasing, and you have to talk about what everyone else is talking about, and you have to be on every social media, and you have to review products, and you have to know how to talk to PR companies, and etc. We're all trying to be just as good as the next blog. We all need to just, chill.

    For me, I had to take a step back and look at the content I was presenting myself. I read some of my old posts and they just seemed like I was trying so hard to be someone/something I'm not. Also I had to switch up the types of blogs I was reading and the type of bloggers I followed. I had to find more women who were unapologetically themselves, and who cared less about what anyone thought about them or their content.

    I think that notion to want to compare yourself to others will always be there, I still get it sometimes, but it's understanding that once you make those comparisons, that's all they are - just visual comparisons and they don't mean anything.

    Great post, really love getting to hear what you're really thinking.

    Z · JPOTTER

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    1. It's exhausting isn't it. Blogging really has taken a corporate turn. Everything you do has to be calculated and marketed so you gain more of something. Like followers or commission. I think I spend more time working out marketing strategies than putting more love into posts. I think I'm in that same web, not being true to myself and selling out for a quick quid. A while ago I also switched things up with the people I was following. I started to seek more like minded people. More than just outfit posts. And it was great to trim the excess. I ended up making more new friends and strengthening the friendship with older blogger friends at that. I still hunt and prowl for others. I remember finding your blog and thinking "hooray, another!" ;o) they're out there, you just have to find them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for the words of wisdom re comparing ourselves. xx

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  27. Awesome post, Sonia! I've been blogging for 6 yrs now, & I'm thankful with all the wonderful support I'm getting from fellow bloggers & sponsors. It has been a fantastic journey for me honestly. Thankfully, I don't have to deal with any nasty comments or people & I'm really grateful for that. Here's wishing you a fabulous journey as well & so glad we've met in bloggersphere! xoxo

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    1. Wow 6 years! That is amazing Shirley. I haven't had to deal with haters either and I am so thankful for that. xx

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  28. this is very true for me as well. I find myself getting quite down when I don't get the amount of feedback I would like on my social media posts. thanks for sharing I really enjoyed it.

    http://haileylauderdale.blogspot.com
    http://closetofgypsies.tumblr.com

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  29. Such an amazing post! I love the reality check hahaha, you're only famous on the internet being 'insta-famous' isn't the same and Hollywood. We should all support and lift each other up.

    God bless,
    XO, Claire
    Http://www.littlemissfashionqueen.blogspot.com

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  30. Nice post :) Loved reading your thoughts.
    xx

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  31. Great post, but I agree with Colleen at the top x


    Much Love | Trillu | Instagam

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  32. Sonia! You have literally just written down everything I've been feeling about blogging too! Crazy how similar we think!
    10K BY THE END OF THE YEAR!? That would be an absolute dream for me... I'd be lucky to get to 500 hahahaha but you're blog is gorgeous (Daring Coco!) and your words are beautiful - I have all the faith in you that it will happen for you babe! You are awesome and amazing and you care so much about other people. You take the time to write the most wonderful comments and can tell you read peoples blogs instead of leaving silly little comments to adverttise yourself. So well done for being a REAL blogger xxx

    www.bohemianmuses.blogspot.com

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    1. Great minds Jade! I was stretching it a bit far for the 10K. I'd be over the moon if I could acquire anywhere near an extra 500! Dream big as they say. xx

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  33. Great post! But i have to admit that everyone have some aims. For me blog is a great hobby and i usualy don't accept most collaborations offer becouse i either don't like them or i have no time. I wor full timely and study and i have my own life. As much as i love blogging it's not he only thing i do. And i like my life the way it is :)

    http://www.simplethingsbyjok.com

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  34. awwww! excellent post. thanks for opening your heart and sharing whats on your mind. xx. gigi. www.gigikkitchen.com

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  35. So lovely post, blogging is just a nice and anti-stress therapy for some of us!

    STYLE & FLOWERS // BLOGLOVIN

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  36. Dear Sonia, congratulations on this amazing post! Blogging isn't just a hobby, it really is a 24/7 job. But I'll have to disagree about one thing, I know that there's a lot of people who don't have a blog, but read blogs :p I'm not really worried about numbers, Of course I want to have followers and readers, and of course I like to have lots of views per day... But I'm not obssessed about it, and I hate that "wanna follow each other?" thing. That said, I'm your new follower! ahah :D love,

    Cláudia

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  37. This is an amazing post. I'm super glad I am part of such a supportive community. People that are there when I have questions or when I feel down about my blog. Or just when I want to complain about losing sunlight for blog pictures, haha! Fellow bloggers understand :)

    XX

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    1. It's nice to have people who get the whole "bloggers problem" thing xx

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  38. looking forward to your next post darling, there's a new one up on my blog :) xoxo

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  39. Hahahahahaha! True that, dear! It's never about the brand! Who cares? Love this post and your words.

    ♘ www.sugarpopfashion.com ♘

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  40. This is a great post hun! I totally agree with you about real world people not understanding blogging. Some people even laugh at me for it. As for the 'Mean Girl' vibe, I have totally experienced this myself, unfortunatly. It's sad when people judge your instagram following over your personality


    Rachel xx
    http://www.thedailyluxe.net

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    1. Oh no Rachel. That is utterly deplorable. Judgemental people like that are just vapid beings lovely. xx

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  41. great post
    dazzlingzest.blogspot.com

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  42. You are a gifted writer Sonia! I can't not read your post to the last word. You have a way of drawing the reader in and keeping their attention. Another great piece. I'm new to blogging, just 8months old and I'm seeing a lot of the things you pointed out. I so feel you on the instagram unfollow hehe. Now I just say to myself, some will follow, and others will unfollow, it happens, keep moving. But you're so right. numbers are good but there are other factors that weigh more. I've met some fabulous people on this platform and those connections matter more than numbers. Looking forward to your next awesome piece. http://fashionablyidu.blogspot.com/

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  43. Wow! This is so inspiring, sometimes I feel discouraged in blogging like I'm thinking if there's someone who actually reads my post. Amazing post, Sonia!

    Maiko
    http://maikokimberly.blogspot.com/

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  44. I am in a place where I just write and do it because I love it!
    I stop caring about my numbers and I am so happier and calm.
    I get what you mean, there are so many people buying followers and spamming other's blog with follow for follow, but I have learnt to ignore them and focus on myself and my blog.
    Doing what I can and building tangible friendshi with bloggers who have been supportive from day one, because they are the only ones who get it.
    I stop begging my sister to share my posts, because oh so what! If she doesn't get it that is her issue not mine.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and pleas stick with your originality and passion.

    http://www.distinguisheddiva.com/2015/05/shine-little-darling.html

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  45. I know I hear you, sometimes I really do wonder when I see people for example following 139 but then having 5k followers, it makes you wonder. And yes it can be discouraging.

    Allie of ALLIENYC
    allienyc.com

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  46. Reading this post was like reading my own thoughts. Blogging is a really strange world, but thankfully there are people like you who are real and honest. Not many, though.

    Bella Pummarola

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