You see, before said break I found myself persistently glued to my iPhone screen; perpetually checking for notifications. And even if there were none, I'd have an incessant yearning to open up the app and check for new posts. I became obsessed with figures, to the point where it essentially began to dominate my days. Everything became systematic and the inspiration and enjoyment I once associated with Instagram became overwhelming and upsetting. Especially with FOMO continuously causing great anxiety.
I realised how unhealthy this infatuation had become and decided to allow myself some breathing room; not just from posting but from perusing also. And it was one of the best things I could have done for myself because in stepping away I managed to gain some much needed clarity. I realised just how much this had no longer become an enjoyable process. From attaining ridiculous "follower" goals to creating a meticulous display in certain hues. The need and extreme pressure I placed on myself to perform, gain and create an impeccable feed was absurd.
In having returned I noticed that I wasn't alone with my absence. There were a handful of 'grammers who also felt constricted and needed a time-out. I truly adore the fact that I am no longer compelled to check my phone every few minutes (my battery life has also extended significantly) and because of this Instagram is becoming amusing once again. And while I may have returned to social media my presence remains inconspicuous. Something which once would have distraught me terribly, now phases me not. I'm still getting used to the annoying categorising in ones feed and the new Snapchat-esque "Stories" feature. Though I can't say I am a huge fan of the latter.
By nature I am a perfectionist, so the need to curate a visually vibrant and immaculate display remains; albeit sans the extreme pressures. And while posting may be sporadic, feel free to check me out over on @soniademacedo
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