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// now playing: real slow – miami horror
I don’t know where time goes or why he decides to become foe as one ages. I truly can not believe that we’re already into August. And with that, mere months until the end of the year. Of course for myself another birthday looms with the promise of being yet another disappointing notch upon ones belt. Soon enough Christmas themed paraphernalia will line the shelves of department stores and shops alike. Glittering tinsel and jolly fat men no longer bringing good tidings but moments of foreboding and great trepidation. Why has time itself come to bring the worst in me?
More so, why is it that I no longer revel in anticipation but dread its mere existence? Is it the overwhelming sense of FOMO or something far more sinister perhaps?
These days I can’t seem to keep up, or perhaps it’s sheer lack of motivation on my part? A sense of overall dejection with my ambitions? I’m full of ideas however, my notebooks and technologic companions are brimming with metaphoric liquid gold and yet I can’t seem to find the energy or space to put anything into practice. Like (what I believe to be) a resounding idea for novel, one that feels really, really good. Or the fact that six months on I am still only just completing my travels from the start of the year. One more post to go actually, which is rather embarrassing on my part, something which has become overly prolonged and somewhat unnecessary now. Something which hadn’t even occurred to me until my last post centred on the Grand Canyon (familiarise yourself with it here) where I noticed many people commenting about the snow; the majority perplexed by the thought that there was snow lingering about at the Grand Canyon in July.
It’s a shame really because I’ve come to quite enjoy writing and sharing such sojourns.
I also feel like a terrible blogger these days, mostly because I feel as though I’m letting down other amazing bloggers who have been so generously supportive of myself. Their continual patronage, the visits, comments and likes are such a comfort but they also make me note just how noticeably absent I’ve become on all counts. I’ve tried to schedule and plan ahead but such undertakings are futile. Is there something in the water because I’ve noticed a few other creatives sharing the same sentiments. My workload has not increased and yet I feel more exhausted than ever. I was once more than able to multitask and work throughout the day and night, but the last few weeks I’ve only been able focus on the one project, if that. Two weeks ago I was on a proverbial roll with Instagram, but alas that didn’t last long and I’m back to being notoriously absent. The same goes with Snapchat, though in my defence I’ve hardly done much to document of late.
Am I simply getting older and unable to maintain the kind of schedule I became accustomed to? Or is that my love for blogging perhaps is simply withering away? I like to start the month with a musings or introspection type of post but I feel as though I’m constantly singing the same tune. This is a personal life and style blog so such thoughts are permitted after all. But why no one is yet to hand me the world’s smallest violin to play my woes upon is beyond me. And while I am yet to find an antidote to my management headaches I did find this post from The Nerdy Me to be rather helpful in getting me back on track again. Also this graphic from Cocorrina is a charming reminder to “just chill” and let it be for now.
Because that’s about as much as I can/am willing do for now.