Some people seem to ooze self-confidence. They walk into a room, immediately take control with their winning personality, and command respect from everybody they speak too. Even when life’s pressures hit them, they bounce back quickly, brush themselves down, and get on with their lives without a second thought. At least, that’s how they appear to those who suffer from poor self-confidence. If that’s you, you may wonder how these people have the inner strength that you sometimes lack. Well, consider the following two points.
- Self-confident people are not always as strong as they appear. They talk the talk and walk the walk, but inside they may feel very different. They are just very good at putting on a face to get what they want.
- Some people are very confident. There’s probably no scientific evidence to explain why. Perhaps life has handed them more lemonade than lemons, or they have the resilience that some of us wish we had. We might envy them, though we shouldn’t fall into the trap of assuming they are in any way ‘better’ than us.
So, how are you feeling today? Are you bursting with confidence, or are you feeling low and unsure about yourself? In this article, we will suggest some useful ways to boost your self-confidence, without having to bluff how you are feeling inside. Our ideas aren’t revolutionary and they may not all work for you. However, have a read and if something sticks with you, hold on to it and use the technique every time you are feeling low.
Ditch the people who get you down
Unfortunately, there are people in our lives who affect how we feel inside. They put us down, criticise us for our opinions, and make negative comments about our appearance. The trouble is, those of us with a sensitive nature take what they say to heart without challenging them, and we are left to pick up the pieces of our fractured feelings. Well, listen up! Ditch those people. While you can’t do much about close family and people at work, if you have anybody in your life you don’t ‘need’ to be around, then don’t. Tell them where to go… which is far away from you. Block them from your social media, and let them know they shouldn’t call you anymore. Then find those people who lift you up, who love you for who you are, and spend time with them as much as is practical. You are worthy of love and respect, and if somebody does say something unkind to you, remember not to take it to heart if their words are unfounded.
Consider your appearance
Some people are blessed with stunning good looks; other people aren’t so lucky. Whichever camp you fall into – probably in the middle like most people – there are ways you can give yourself a makeover if there is anything about your appearance that is causing you to lose confidence. Is your skin plagued with acne? Well, that’s what Tamanu oil is used for, a natural treatment that can work wonders on your blemishes. Do you have issues with body weight? If so, consider changing up your diet. We aren’t saying big can’t be beautiful, but if it’s causing you to feel bad about yourself, there may be something you can do about it. However, despite all of that, remember nobody is perfect. While you can make changes – and no, we aren’t advocating plastic surgery – sometimes we have to accept ourselves for who we are, without judging ourselves by society’s standards.
Continuing the point made above, you may consider giving yourself a fashion makeover, defining the style that suits you. Sometimes, a new outfit (and accessories) can make us feel better, and it’s certainly more healthy than lounging around in our pyjamas all day feeling sorry for ourselves. Don’t spend money you don’t have of course, but tally up what you can afford, and treat yourself. Those people who ooze confidence we mentioned earlier? Quite often, they give themselves that boost by dressing to impress. It may only be surface level, but if what you wear affects how you feel, then maybe it’s time to hit the shopping mall.
Turn negative thoughts into positive ones
We can often be our own worst enemy, letting negative thoughts rule over our lives. Examples? “I’m not good enough,” “nobody likes me,” “I’m not a nice person,” and “I will never do anything with my life” are just some of the thoughts many of us allow to plague our minds. Is there any truth in these thoughts? Quite often not, but if you let them permeate, your life won’t improve if you continue to dwell on them. So, change them around, and think positively. For example…
You are good enough, though you may need to do something to get better at things you struggle with…People do like you, but if you are in any way alienating people, do something about it…You probably are a nice person, but you may need to make amends if you have upset somebody…Your life is full of possibilities, though you should take steps to get what you want.
A negative attitude will get you nowhere, and you will be left with self-pity and a low self-esteem. Whenever one of those pesky thoughts enters your head, kill it like a bug, and replace it with something positive.
Face your fears
Consider the areas in your life that you are unconfident about. You may be nervous of social circles. There may be aspects of your job that you avoid, rather than risk failure. Speaking to other people may be a huge problem for you, especially if you find yourself stumbling over your words. In each of these cases, or whatever situation is relevant for you, face them head on instead of avoiding them. In counselling speak, this is known as cognitive behavioural therapy, taking small steps to confront possibly irrational fears. So, if you are awkward socially, you probably shouldn’t go to a party with people you barely know, at least, not yet. However, you could organise a small gathering for people you know well, or at least take one of these people with you to an event you may be dreading. In most cases, your fears are in your head, and reality will be a lot different. So, take the risk, and you may boost your self-confidence as a result. “I did it and survived” you can tell yourself, afterwards.
Get to know yourself
You probably think you know yourself very well, and you may well be right. However, you may dwell on the negative parts of yourself instead of the positive. You can’t do this, and you can’t do that, and you look like this, and you don’t look like them… and so it goes, and with it, your self-confidence plummets with your negative self-reflection. So stop it! Focus on the good things about your life. Consider your achievements, both large and small. Look in the mirror and compliment yourself on the best aspects of your appearance. Remember the times you showed oodles of confidence, and consider why that was. When you have made a positive self-reflection, practice this mantra. “I am worthy. I am wonderfully and fearfully made. I have value.” Or words to that effect, such as those offered here. The more you tell yourself how valuable you are, the better you will feel. At least, that’s what the psychologists tell us, although it really does seem to work, so give it a go!
We hope our advice has been helpful, though let us know if you have any confidence boosting tips that have been useful to you. Have a great day, and remember, you are awesome, whether you believe it right now, or not!
[ This has been a collaborative post. All thoughts and opinions expressed above are not my own ]