Hello lovers. It truly has been a while, hasn’t it?
I must admit that during such an extended hiatus and quietude I have been simultaneously grappling with feelings of guilt; as countless readers and friends still perused my blog and happily engaged. And I did little to return any form of acknowledgment. Over this course of quietude I had endlessly pondered, planned and promised myself to once again breathe life into this space. And yet perpetually failed to honour such pledges, instead settling with contributed articles while I continued a game of procrastination.
Since 2020, so much unbelievable worldly chaos has ensued. Some things were simply out of our control. But most of this unceasing chaos has been brought on by a select few effortlessly content with running our planet and society into the ground for their own repugnant greed and selfishness. What feels like endless and unrighteous worldwide turmoil has left me feeling perpetually uneasy and nauseous over these repeating events. And honestly it simply did not feel right to continue posting on this blog as normal. But also, I was simply out of words. And instead opted to sit back, listen and learn from those who truly need their voices understood.
With all this turmoil plus the upheaval of madness worldwide, my mental health has seriously been in decline. The last few years have taken a toll on me; personally and professionally. It has been an exhausting string of loses and struggles, ones that feel as though there is no end in sight. In particular the last two years which saw my dog Chanel being involved in a life altering accident. So much of my time has been dedicated to preparing, adjusting and moving forward with our new reality.
Dealing with the fallout of PTSD and toxic positivity has made for a provocative mix; hence the need for a moment of quietude.
“i don’t know what word in the english language – i can’t find one – that applies to people who are willing to sacrifice the literal existence of organized human life so they can put a few more dollars into highly overstuffed pockets. the word “evil” doesn’t begin to approach it // noam chomsky
With everything going on it felt (and still feels) overly frivolous to create and promote sartorial nothings when our planet is simply drowning in humans thirst for excess. The way many continue to walk through life as though nothing has changed since pre-COVID baffles me. At times I feel envious of them. To be so unaware and unaffected is quite the luck and privilege. I find it hard to go on pretending like a viral disease doesn’t exist; one that can cause such havoc that is not limited to the immune compromised. That climate change isn’t legitimate even though parts of the globe are endlessly and unnaturally scorching. That we may never experience a year “cooler” than this one. I don’t know how you can be aware of these unprecedented times and effortlessly continue as normal. Genocides are being committed. And in front of our very eyes children are burned alive. How certain corporations keep forcing AI onto the masses and how content they are to “utilize” it while it simultaneously bleeds our environment dry, dumbing down younger generations and plundering certain areas in the arts, leaving its future unknown.
It’s an ever changing landscape and battle; one that feels like is inevitably, if not already lost. And let’s not forget the atrocities a certain Orange Idiot and his sycophants are committing in the land of the “free”.
Because of all this I’ve especially felt uneasy opening certain social media sites. Scrolling through boundless images and videos of a world that feels like is ceasing to exist. And much like the movie “Don’t Look Up”, they are scenes that don’t properly illustrate the realities of today. Scenes that feel more like distraction rather than inspired action. Because when our world has fast become a raging inferno (both metaphorical and literal) how can we possibly go on pretending like this is acceptable and normal?
I felt encouraged to write and publish once again in part to this post Rowena from Rolala Loves published. Knowing I wasn’t alone in these sensitivities; her candid honesty and mutual feelings gave me the confidence to share my own. And while attempting to move out of my period of quietude by composing this post has felt liberating, I still feel a little uneasy. Despite current world events and the traumas in my own waking days, being creative again has been a welcome relief in a different form of detachment. And as eager as I am to let the words and inspiration flow, it still feels especially pointless of me to curate while our world burns and atrocities against humanity are committed without consequence.
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